I know we have all been feeling the stifling squeeze of 2020 and 2021…and it has trickled into 2022. It would be so easy to sit in the energy of fear and the unknown, but we can choose to do something different.

I used to dread the new year because I felt obligated to make a resolution and then punish myself when I didn’t follow through with it. Never realizing how much this was feeding my limiting beliefs and creating an energy for this in my entire year.

Now, I love the juicy energy of a new year. It is full of potential, magic, love, adventure, and unexpected goodness. I have learned how to become centered within myself because I have done the inner work. I know that I can live comfortably and happily within my mind, body, and spirit and that allows me to see and experience the potential of the world around me.

This was not easy work by any means, but it was absolutely life changing. I want all of you to have this. To know that no matter what comes your way in 2022 and beyond that you can handle it. That life is not hard, it just has hard moments. That sometimes those hard moments last longer than expected, but there is always goodness coming. That you are the creator of your life. That healing yourself helps to change the world you exist in.

All of this is especially important, and I love getting to be part of my client’s journey. I am so ready to work with all the women meant to find me in 2022 and beyond.
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I cannot wait to see where 2022 takes me, my business, and my life.  I am so ready for my outer world to meet me where I am now and where I am going from here.

I did not realize how long it has been since I wrote a blog article for all of you (ALMOST A YEAR). My apologies for the long pause. I thought I would share some updates since it has been so long.
 
When we finally transitioned out of 2020, I was so ready for new growth in my life and my business. I had spent the majority of 2020 doing a great deal of inner work and healing. To my surprise 2021 has followed a very similar track. 

I wanted to bemoan this for a little while, but it has honestly allowed me to gain immense clarity about who I am becoming, how I want to live my life and where my business will be. Much to my surprise most of these things did not lead where I thought they would. That is the joy of the journey though, realizing that the Universe (God etc.) has bigger plans for us than we can imagine.

My husband and I went on our first real vacation ever this past summer. We decided to take a camping road trip and visited some places we hadn’t ever been. It was glorious! We spent four days with our pups exploring new places and being in nature.  Don’t get me wrong we have travelled before, but it has usually always been for someone’s wedding, to visit people, or for family. This was the first time we ever took a trip just for us. It was just what we needed, and I gained a great deal of clarity on this trip.

After our trip we went to our first concert since the pandemic started. I cried because I didn’t realize how much I missed live music. There is something so powerful and magic about it. It was amazing and we ended up going to many more over the remaining summer months and into the fall. We also spent time adventuring around our city and I even got to go back home to spend some time with my family finally.
It is funny how much you can miss people and places. Also, interesting how the stress and trauma of 2020 masked my feelings and emotions about missing these things. So, 2021 has ended up being a bit of an unravelling and release. It has also opened space for me to take a coaching program with an amazing woman I have wanted to work with for years and led me to finally go back to therapy.

While I had visions of focusing on building my business and shifting up our life, the Universe said, “not yet.”  I am so thankful that I leaned into the timing and trusted the flow of what was here for me. Without it I wouldn’t have been able to rebuild this foundation of my life and dreams.
 
If you’re still reading, thank you for being here. My biggest take away from this past year is that we often try to control the timing of our lives and get upset when things don’t go the way we anticipate. It is only human of us to do this, but we should spend more time leaning into the trust. Knowing that it is okay if everything doesn’t go as planned. That some of the most beautiful moments and growth happen in this space. I’ve started to think of it as the Universe forcing me out of my comfort zone (hello, previous perfectionist here).
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As we round out 2021, I want you to take some space and think about how you can give a little and lean into the discomfort of things not going your way. How might your life be different this time 2022 if you trust those moments when things go the complete opposite direction? Who will you become by giving up a little bit of control for a little bit of magic?

It is that time again, time to choose our word or words for 2021.  I started doing this in 2017 because I was tired of setting a New Year’s Resolution and doing nothing with it.   

My resolutions were usually something along the lines of I am going to eat healthy, get skinny, and get a good job.  It usually went well for about 3-4 weeks and then I would fall right back into the same old routine I was always in. 

On my journey of accepting myself, showing up authentically and shifting my beliefs, I realized that I never aligned with resolutions.  They always felt expected, rigid, and unobtainable.  I asked myself, why are you doing this? Who is this for?  What will it bring me?

NYE 2017 I decided I was going to create an affirmation that encompassed what I wanted from my life and for myself in 2018.  It was not anything fancy.  It was three simple and powerful words.  I tried to say it every morning when I woke up to remind myself why I was here and what I wanted to accomplish. When I would have bad moments, I would say my affirmation to remind myself that life is not hard it only has hard moments.  I have continued to do this every December since 2017.

This simple act of choosing a word or a few words has changed my life in ways I did not expect.  I know that probably sounds hyperbolic, but it is true. 

Choosing some words allows me to stay authentic to myself and my path.  It is easier to flow throughout the year and shift when I need to shift.  It is also a simple way for me to continue planting seeds in my subconscious and conscious mind.  We can call it a magickal way to remind myself of who I am, why I am here and how I want to live.

If you missed my workshop on 12-19-2020, you can utilize the steps below to create your own words for 2021.  Take your time to process, come back to your journaling as frequently as you need, and when you feel ready pick out your words.  Follow the simple process below.
 
Find a quiet space where you can take some time to journal.
Who do you want to be in 2020? 
How do you want to feel in 2020?
What are some of your goals for 2020?  To be more financially stable? To laugh more?  To rest more?
Read through what you wrote and see what 2-3 words come up for you.  You can choose to just use these words or create an affirmation. 
 
Wishing you a Safe and Happy Holiday Season and a magickal New Year!!

Erin's Words for 2021: Fulfilled, Trust, and Six Figures.

Content Warning.  Rape/Sexual Assault.  

The Journey of taking back my Sacral Chakra and my Uterus has been a decade in the making.  I shared an immensely vulnerable blog post last year about my rape.  I now know that was the first leap I needed to take, to begin this journey of release and deep healing.  To awaken and discover my true purpose and power.

I initially planned on sharing this as I was on my journey, but I realize I needed to process before I could share.  Thank you for being here and I hope this helps you in some way.
 
I was raped at 16, by someone who was close to me.  That one moment changed me.  It changed every moment of my life from that point on.  It took me almost 18 years to even say out loud what happened to me.  It took me another 6 months before I truly started processing how that changed my life.  Who I had been for those 18 years?  How to start letting go of that moment and who I was in my unprocessed trauma.

In October of 2019 I took some yoga classes.  I had profound awakening moments during these classes.  I cried as I held my body in positions it has never been.  I received downloads to share this message with all of you.  I received the knowledge that I had given away the power I held in my sacral.  The intuition I was born with.  The connection to myself and Mother Nature. 

It was not easy for me to admit that I had done this to protect myself.  It was the hardest truth I had to admit to myself, at that time. It was also the most powerful awareness of my purpose on this planet.  One I am still coming into.

It has been a roller coaster of awakening and hibernation.  I have had to recognize the ways I had been a toxic person to people around me.  To accept that much of that came from my inability to admit what was done to me.  To face the darkness, I had carried in my body and my being for almost two decades.
I had to apologize to my husband for the decade of anger and struggle.  To thank him for loving me every day, even though it was sometimes an impossible thing to do. To find my connection with him in new ways.  To allow him to take care of me, something I had rarely done in our life together.

Since October 2019, if have been on a path of immense shadow work.  Digging into my energetic cords, ancestral contracts, my disconnection with the power of Nature, and the shackles I had been carrying.  This past year has been the most powerfully transformative year of my life, so far.

I have done deep spiritual work.  Recognizing my own shadows, cutting ties to that moment and the person who did that to me, and forgiving myself for living in toxicity.  Forgiving myself over and over.  To say it has been painful and freeing does not really touch it, but it is the best way I can explain it.

Last week I was able to fully release the remaining cords I had to my trauma and everything that transpired after.  I was getting ready to go to bed and felt a deep cord tied inside my uterus/sacral chakra.  When I cut that cord and sent it out to the Universe, I felt a deep peace wash over me.  I felt my mind finally stop the story I had been repeating over the last 18 months. I always say healing is cyclical and this past year has been a powerful reminder of this.

 I want to take a pause and acknowledge that this is not going to be the same journey someone else can make.  This was a deeply personal process for me.  There is no healing band-aid that works for everyone.  You can process in whatever way you feel is best for you.   I also want to remind you that you are not alone and when you are ready, ask for what you need.
 
The Shift:
I want to now focus on the beautiful things that came from this.  I have embraced my purpose and myself in ways I would not have thought possible.  I have received downloads to create 3 amazing coaching programs.  I have tapped into my intuition in a deeply powerful way and it has allowed me to help my clients in more meaningful ways.

My husband and I have connected in ways we never have before.  Healing our relationship and our life, together.  We speak to each other about our dreams and the life we want to create.  This has been an exceptionally long process, but we are getting there.  I am so thankful to have a partner who sees me, listens to me, and loves me in all my messiness.

I have started doing some energy work to help me go deeper.  I started journaling and working with my subconscious mind to fully release the last remaining remnants in my body and spirit. I have cracked myself open and embraced my darkness.  I have learned to love myself in an even deeper way. 

I have connected back to my sacral chakra and know that it is completely mine again.  I can feel the deep energetic connection to the Earth, my power, and the collective world around me.  I feel safe to love my life completely.  To trust that the hard moments will pass and the amazing things I dream about will come to fruition.

I trust myself to serve other women in my purpose and passion.  I know why I am here.  I understand why I had to go on this journey and am so thankful that chose to follow it.

I cannot wait to see where I get to go from here.  How this will continue to change my clients, myself, and my life. 
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Thank you for following along on this journey.  

I am sharing this article again because it is so good! 
Once again I have created my words for 2020 and I look forward to seeing where they take me.  
I’m here again to talk about why I threw away the notion of setting a New Year’s Resolution. 

I would set them every year.  They usually were something along the lines of I’m going to eat healthy, get skinny, and get a good job.  It usually went well for about 3-4 weeks and then I would fall right back into the same old routine I was always in. 

When I went on my journey of self-love and acceptance of who I am, I realized that I was setting those resolutions from a place of self-loathing.  I wasn’t making those decisions for myself, I was making them because it was NYE and I was supposed to.  Isn’t everyone who doesn’t fit into the idealized body type or lifestyle supposed to make a resolution to put themselves into a box?

NYE 2017 I decided I was going to create an affirmation that encompassed what I wanted from my life and for myself in 2018.  It wasn’t anything fancy.  It was three simple and powerful words.  I tried to say it every morning when I woke up to remind myself why I was here and what I wanted to accomplish. When I would have bad moments, I would say my affirmation to remind myself that life is no hard it only has hard moments.

Throwing away resolutions was one of the best things I did for myself.  I didn’t wake up every day with resolutions hanging over my head.  Feeling like a failure if I didn’t accomplish that daunting to-do list I had made at the end of 2017. I simply stepped forward with trust every day that I was on the path I was put on this earth to walk.  Trust that all of the things I desired and dreamed would be mine if I just continued to walk with trust.

Trust has always been so difficult for me.  I like to know things will work out, to know what and how things will happen, so trust and I have not always been great friends. Turns out trust is the one thing I needed most in my life and had I not decided to throw away resolutions I am not sure I would have found it this year.

So, if you have been on the resolutions wheel for most of your life. If you continue to fall and then feel guilty because you didn’t win that to-do list again.  Let me help you create an affirmation that you can carry with you for all of 2019.  Take back that power and stop trying to cram your amazing being into that tiny little box society wants to keep you in.

My affirmation for 2020:  CEO, Infinite Expansion, and Wealth.

I launched my business in October 2018.  I had so much happened during the 8 months leading up to June 2019.  I took some leaps, had some setbacks, started a side job, and put so much pressure on myself!

I realized in June that I needed some time for me.  Ironically, my card for my year-ahead spread in June also said the same thing.  I was gentle with myself in taking this time off.  I reminded myself that nothing was going to end because I simply needed time to rest and re-adjust.  Time to really decide what I wanted with my business and my life.  Time to work with a coach around my money mindset (something I have been working on for over a year).  

During this break I got some great insights and downloads.  I realized I was still playing small with my life and my company.  I realized I have this deep burning desire to host workshops filled with womxn ready to up-level their lives and stand in their power.  I realized that I needed a moment to reflect and dive deep.  A moment to lean-in to my own fear and really work on surrender. 

It wasn’t easy for me to mostly take an entire month away from working my business.  Some days I found myself in a state of worry over losing social media followers, not writing for my blog, etc.  I had to remind myself that anyone who is truly aligned with me as a follower or client will still be there after my break. 

June was so opening for me.  It was nice to pause and reflect. It allowed me to recognize and celebrate all the great things I have accomplished and how far I have come in the past 12 months. It helped me recognized places I still haven’t fully healed and things that I still needed to work through.

This is my reminder to be gentle with yourself through your healing and growth.  To remember that you do not always have to be “on” to be moving forward.  That life often doesn’t work the way we think it should and generally the path forward appears when we surrender. 

Here is to taking regular time to be “off”.  To allowing myself to truly celebrate my successes.  To dive deep into my own growth and acknowledge my desires. 
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Surrender is one of my words for 2019 and I fully intend on spending the rest of this year really feeling that and letting go. 

“Bitch is a 5-letter word that means taking back your power.” – Erin Stump (Me)

I said this while out with my husband and a friend a few weeks ago.  It really struck me, the power we give to words.  I remember being a kid and people saying words can’t hurt you.  Excuse me, YES, THEY FUCKING CAN. 
Some of the most damaging words that have been said to me were said by me.  So, the question becomes when should we give words power and when should we tell them to fuck off?

As womxn, we are held to the expectation of always being polite or kind.  When we start setting boundaries and begin speaking our minds, people love to throw around words like bitch, calm down, etc.  If we don’t “stay in the lines”, it becomes convenient for people to throw hurtful words our way or claim that we are “crazy”.

This is where my mindset of taking back the power of those words comes into play. You can absolutely choose if you allow words to hurt you.  When we bravely put ourselves and our lives on the internet for people to see, there is always a chance that someone will say something hurtful.

We must choose what we take personally and when someone is projecting their own insecurities or feelings on us.  When we are in our own mess it is easy to throw our shit on another person.  That doesn’t make it okay, but it does happen.  We have all done it at some point, moving past that is where the growth happens.  This is the moment of realization and awakening.  When you see that you have done this, but this is also where you get to take back that power.  Where you get to forgive yourself for the damage that your words did and get to start setting the boundaries of what words you will give power.

When someone tells me that I am a bitch or an asshole I take a moment and try to see if I am really being that, or if they are simply upset that I am not allowing them to cross my boundaries.  You know why because sometimes I am both of those things and I am perfectly fine with that.  I get to take my power back by saying FUCK YEAH, I’M A BITCH.  It doesn’t make me more or less worthy; it just means that someone overstepped MY boundaries and I stood up for myself.
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We are all human and sometimes things hurt.  That is perfectly acceptable.  One of the ways to stand in your power is to know your boundaries and decide what you give power to.  This absolutely includes the words that are said to you. 
 
*Keep an eye out for The Power of Words Worksheet coming soon!*

Earlier this week I shared a post about PLAY and how it has improved my life.  When we are little kids everything can be play.  Life is a constant adventure and we thrive on it.  As we get older, we are continually told that we cannot PLAY anymore.  Sure, we can “play” like grown-ups but society frowns if you tap into that childhood magick of PLAY.

You might be thinking what the hell does she mean by PLAY?  What I mean is just having fun.  Remember when you just danced for no reason, just because you loved moving to good music?  Remember when a slide or a swing was pure joy.  I remember the freedom of fun as a child and I realized I was stifling that joy and fun as an adult. 

When I finally became aware of this, I decided I was going to bring more PLAY back into my life.  I started last month being more aware of when and how I was having fun.  When I was with my friends and family I stopped worrying about work.  I stopped being on my phone constantly.  I stopped fretting about spending money.

I started laughing, trusting, surrendering and tapping into my feminine energy.  FLOW.  Flow and fun go hand in hand.  It is amazing, once you understand this, how much more your life opens.  I stared making more money, I started tapping into my creativity and I started sharing some powerful authenticity.

It was freedom.  Freedom is one of my words for this year and I never would have imagined that PLAY would be one of the ways I would find it.  The energy of being a child is freedom…that energy is PLAY.

I am going to continue to incorporate PLAY into my life daily.  The beauty of PLAY is that it doesn’t have to be extravagant, it is purely simple and magickal. Dancing in my kitchen, riding bikes with my husband, swimming, laughing etc.
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How can you incorporate more PLAY into your life? 

We hear this phrase often, especially when you are a new entrepreneur trying to get started in your field.  Last week, I had a moment of pure happiness and I realized I’ve been feeling very happy for awhile now.  I also realized, that I question if I deserve this happiness every time I feel it. 

This brought up so many thoughts and feelings for me.  Like holy shit, I’ve been telling the universe I am not sure if I deserve to be happy.  What. The. Fuck.

Of course, I deserve to be happy, we all deserve to be happy.  To feel joy and peace in our lives, in our bodies, in ourselves.  I had to have a serious check-in with myself.  I am consistently talking to others about their worthiness and their desires.  Speaking about taking back your body and life.  Living the life, you desire.  If I am speaking to others about this and how much they deserve it; why am I questioning this for myself?

Queue imposter syndrome.  Whoa, turns out you can have this in other areas of your life. 

So, I sat down and spent some time with my feelings and thoughts around this realization.  Leaned into why I was questioning having something I worked to get.  I had to shed so many limiting beliefs to get here, to learn and love my body, to grow through some shit.  Why was I putting these feelings of un-worthiness out into the world?

The truth is I spent so much of my life living in this feeling of constant stress and worry.  I always saw happiness as this final achievement and something I was always going to have to chase.  I frequently felt like I didn’t deserve to be happy because being un-happy was some sort of karmic punishment I deserved.  These limiting beliefs are why I was still questioning if I deserved to feel this fucking happy.

These are things I have spent years working through.  I still have healing to do in this area.  This is okay! Healing is cyclical.  We continue to come back to the things we still need to heal.  This is how we grow, learn, and heal.

Now that I have this awareness, I have two choices.  I can ignore it and keep walking this tight rope of worthiness or I can dive in and work through this to figure out what I need to heal completely.
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I will choose the second option. I intend to spend some time journaling and really diving into why I am not 100% on board for my own worthiness to be fucking happy.  I will do this for me but also for all the womxn I am here to serve.  To ensure that I have the knowledge and ability to help them do the same. 

*Trigger Warning* This is about rape.  If this will negatively affect you, please stop reading now.
 
I wrote this in October 2018. Last year brought up so much of my past traumas, things I didn’t even realize I was still carrying.  It was fucking painful…. but has also allowed me to really work on these things.  I’ve lived with these in secret.  Carried this pain while pretending it didn’t exist.  It wasn’t until I said them out loud to a friend that I recognized I have been carrying this darkness with me for over half of my life.

I have been in an internal struggle weather I wanted to share this for the past 6 months…but I know that it is time to share. 

I spent years not speaking this because I was worried about him.  Worried about people who would know.  Never once taking into consideration that not sharing was taking so much away from my life and my happiness.  How internalizing this, created a space in my life that made me completely crazy. That by not sharing I was giving away my power.

I didn’t report because it was someone I loved.  A man I thought I was going to spend my life with. I now see that this moment changed me in ways I didn’t even know.  That I walked a darker path for years because of it. That ignoring it did so much damage.   
 
I had been drinking with someone I trusted with my life.  I said no…. repeatedly.  He still decided he was going to take what he wanted.  People saw, honked their horns, gave him a proverbial high-five as they drove by. 
They didn’t know that I didn’t want that.  I never wanted what happened to me.  It was a painful realization that I wasn’t even safe with the person I loved.  A person I thought loved and respected me.

I spent years listening to people talk about rape as something far off that couldn’t have possibly happened to someone they know.  I was standing right in front of them, but they didn’t know, and I wasn’t ready to tell them. 
I’m not sharing this for sympathy.  I am sharing this because it is part of my truth and it needs to be told.  It changed me….and is still changing me.  If one other woman who reads this doesn’t feel so alone that is all that matters to me.
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I am letting this go.  Sharing this is me taking back my power.  Accepting that I am not what happened to me.  From this moment I am stepping forward with my power, with the understanding that I am here because of this moment and being proud that I am no longer giving him my power.