Stop Living the What-If Life

On occasion, I find myself reviewing my life and the missed opportunities.  I do not know why I do this, but I think it is something most people do at some point.  It is easy to get so wrapped up in the what-ifs of our lives that we forget to appreciate the “right-now’s”.  I have been working diligently to be present in my life.  To remember that the moment I am living right now is my life and I don’t get it back once it is gone. 

We often examine this notion when we lose people or something devastating happens because we are faced with the fact that we will not live forever and we do not control the outside world.  Sadly, we forget to examine this notion regularly.  To remember that we only get right now and we should hold on to it, squeeze it with a smile, and be present.  That we must just live. 

What-if’s do nothing for me but make me question all the decisions I made in life.  Why should I question those decisions though, because without them I probably wouldn’t have decided to start this blog?  I would not be sitting here at 11:45pm on a Monday night writing in the hopes of making this planet a little bit better.  We should appreciate that we all make decisions that we look back at and go “eh, that might not have been the best.”  Accept that you are human and you make mistakes.  Embrace what you learned from them and how they helped you grow as a human being. 

It is alright to look back at your life.  I think we must pause and review occasionally, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves of how much we have grown.  Just do not get stuck in the cycle of what-if.  A person could drive themselves mad doing that. 

When I catch myself thinking how my life would be different if I made another choice I gently (or roughly) snap myself out of it.  I bring my focus back to all the amazing things I have now.  That my life is filled with beauty, love, and light.  I start to make a mental list of the positive things that have come from the choices I have made and they have made me a better person.  I remind myself that perfection is an impossibility and no choice in my life would have allowed me to achieve that. 
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If you are what-iffing (yeah, I said it) and you can’t get out…. just simply say “Self, you are allowed to make mistakes so long as you learn from them.  Perfection is not possible.  I am enough. I have enough. I will do better.”